My son, Seth, is a 19-year-old young man who is intelligent, kindhearted, quick-witted, and wise beyond his years. He has always danced to the beat of his own drum. He loves to learn and can have in-depth conversations on any number of topics, comparing and contrasting subjects like a walking AI prompt; and yet, he failed the one class he needed to pass in order to graduate from high school. He failed because he was unable to understand the subject the way it was being taught, and despite receiving intensive tutoring, he wasn’t able to complete classwork the way his teacher required. Seth is also autistic – diagnosed at age 16.
Let me give you a little bit of history here.
Three years before Seth was born, in 2001, President Bush established the “No Child Left Behind Act,” which was supposed to “[change] the ways in which educators work with students in both general and special education by holding states, school districts, principals, and teachers accountable for making meaningful improvements in students' academic performance.”[i] Unfortunately, while the intention of this act was to make sure every student passed, its emphasis on standardized testing and rigid benchmarks created significant challenges for students (like Seth) who learn differently.
Seth had issues in school from the very beginning. He was suspended twice – from kindergarten – and temporarily lost his bus riding privileges for roughing up a fifth grader. Later, he got into trouble because he asked too many questions. I wasn’t aware of this back then, but Seth needed to understand the purpose of an assignment and what his teachers’ expectations were before he could begin working. If his questions weren’t answered to the extent he needed, he would shut down. If teachers pushed Seth to figure out the answers on his own, he would become overwhelmed and inevitably have a meltdown, which interrupted the class and frequently landed him in “time-out,” separated from the other students, which caused him to miss out on important lessons. As a result, his grades started to drop.
Seth says:
“I ask the questions I do to understand and reaffirm that I'm processing information correctly – or to learn something new. I do it out of genuine interest. My questions maximize my comprehension of the subject.
Much of the time, people confuse the tone of my questions, interpreting them as a challenge to their claim. I think this happens cause I tend to sound confident, so people think I know what I’m talking about, sometimes more than them. My message is misconstrued, and people infer my opinion as fact.”
By third grade, Seth was still having meltdowns on a regular basis, and he started failing math, which back then was his favorite subject, so in the middle of fourth grade, he was moved into an academic program for students with “emotional disabilities.” He thrived in the new environment, which boasted fewer students and more adult aides. Seth’s teachers saw his potential and helped him to shine – but once he moved on to the associated middle school, he started failing again – for the same reasons he did in elementary school. That’s when I took him out of the public school system altogether.
I moved him to a school called Clear Circle (a pseudonym), whose philosophy is that children learn most effectively when they are allowed to study whatever they feel drawn to – on their own and at their own pace – without the pressure of a curriculum. There were no official teachers or classes. Because of the open format, Seth had the opportunity to practice social skills with children of all ages – as well as adult aides. He wasn't coming home crying anymore, thinking he was a “bad kid.” I breathed a sigh of relief.
After four years, however, Seth realized he wasn’t a “self-starter,” and was concerned he wasn't learning what he needed to know at Clear Circle. He needed more structure. He asked to return to public school. (Yeah, I was surprised, too.) I believe that attending Clear Circle gave Seth the emotional break he needed to grow and mature, and now he was ready to face his challenges and advocate for himself with his teachers.
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