This past weekend, I had the unexpected pleasure of spending quality time with Seth’s girlfriend of almost one year, N.
On Friday morning, Seth called to ask if N could come to my house for a while, because she really needed to get out of hers. I said, “Sure,” and agreed to pick her up after I finished work. When N and I got back to my place that evening, Seth came over from his grandmother’s house (which is about 100 feet away from mine). Apparently, the reason N needed to get away was because she’d had a frightening experience earlier in the day and was still spooked. She needed reassurance. So, while she and Seth cuddled, the three of us spent some time talking, and then watched a few silly videos. Then N started getting sleepy.
Because Seth and N had already spent five nights together, Seth said he needed some alone time. He asked if N could spend the night in his room upstairs, while he went back to his grandmother’s house. I said, “Sure, why not?” She went up to his room, and Seth gave me a hug. Just as he was about to leave, he called upstairs to N to say goodbye but then decided to go up there to do it in person. Half an hour passed, and I thought maybe he had changed his mind and was staying with her, but then he came back downstairs and told me she had been crying, and he didn’t feel right leaving her like that – so he stayed until she fell asleep. I was so touched and proud of him for temporarily putting aside his need for alone time in order to console her.
The next day, N woke up around 1:00 PM. So envious! I used to be able to sleep that late, but not anymore. Oh well. When she came downstairs, I asked her to come sit with me. We started talking about all sorts of things. I told her Seth mentioned she was crying the previous night, and she said, “Yeah, I was.” I asked if Seth had said something that upset her, and she said, “No, not at all. He was trying to comfort me, and I felt so much love and care coming from him, I started crying.” She told me I had done a wonderful job raising him – that she had never imagined she could be so happy.
My heart swelled with pride when I heard that. I taught Seth from a young age how to treat women. I wanted to do my part to raise a man who didn’t need to hide behind “toxic masculinity,” who would be respectful to, and considerate of, his girlfriends – and everyone else, for that matter. I was thrilled he took what I said to heart!
Originally, N was supposed to hang out with Seth for a while before I brought her home, but then we learned Seth had the norovirus (stomach flu) that has been going around, and he wasn’t up for company. Poor Seth! So, N and I did a couple of errands together, and talked a lot more. We discussed Seth (of course), racism, the state of the country, N’s history, Seth’s history, my history, and her plans. I learned how serious she is about Seth, and how the two of them have been discussing spending their future lives together. Seeing the love in her eyes for my son filled me with emotion.
After I dropped N off that evening, I marveled at how far Seth has come. From a child who was so volatile, he was suspended from kindergarten – twice – for violence – to a gentle, kind young man who has made N feel safer than she has ever felt. I am so grateful and humbled I was able to help him get to this point, and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for the two of them!
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